FREE SHIPPING APPRECIATED ⛰️
BOYCOTT
PATAGONIA!

✊ A Very Serious Protest Movement ✊
send help (and jackets) 👇
Why Are We "Boycotting"?

It's TOO EXPENSIVE

$300 for a fleece?! I could buy a used car. Or at least a very nice tent. The wallet weeps, the mountains beckon.

They Care About Earth

They keep talking about saving the planet. Meanwhile I'm trying to save 30% on a down jacket. Priorities, people!

SOLD OUT

Always Sold Out

Find an item you love? Congrats, it's discontinued or sold out. Found online for 3x the price by a reseller named "GearGremlin99".

THE PROTEST ACTION

Don't Like What
Patagonia Is Doing?
SEND ME YOUR GEAR.

The most powerful statement you can make against a company you disagree with is obviously to mail all your high-quality outdoor clothing to a complete stranger on the internet. It's called Redistributive Trail Justice, and I just made it up.

By shipping your Patagonia items to me, you'll feel the warm glow of protest and save valuable closet space. Win-win. I'll make sure your gear is used in the field, on actual trails, against actual mountains. This is my solemn oath.

📫 Ship Your Protest Gear To:
SERIOUS BOYCOTT HQ
23486 Timber Trail Dr
Bemidji, MN 56601
(Attn: Legitimate Protest Organizer)

* By sending your items, you agree that this is a very real and legally binding protest. No returns. The protest organizer assumes no responsibility for any gear that immediately becomes their favorite jacket. Patagonia™ is a registered trademark of Patagonia, Inc. This page is a joke. A very good joke. Please send jackets anyway.

Take a moment. Breathe. Think about how good that fleece would look on me.

What We Gratefully Accept
🧥

Fleece Jackets

The classic. The legend. All colors. All sizes. Especially large.

🎿

Ski Gear

Bibs, shells, base layers. The mountain awaits. My mountain.

🎒

Backpacks

Daypacks, multi-day packs, technical climbing packs. Room for more protest gear.

🧶

Base Layers

Warm protest happens from the inside out. Merino preferred.

🕶️

Accessories

Hats, beanies, gloves. Every accessory is a statement.

Tents & Gear

If Patagonia made it and you're mad about it, box it up.

Fellow Protesters Say...

I sent three fleeces and a down jacket. I feel truly liberated. Also my closet is much roomier now for my new REI stuff.

🏔️ — TrailBlazer T., Montana

The protest organizer confirmed receipt of my Level 5 shell. He said, and I quote, "this rocks." I consider that a political win.

🦅 — Summit S., Vermont

I only own Patagonia. Protesting it meant sending everything I own. I now wear a burlap sack. The mountains respect my commitment.

🌲 — Dedicated D., Oregon

The Outdoor Protester's Manifesto

We believe that the mountains don't care what you wear. They also don't read this website. But I do, and I care very much what you wear, particularly if it's Patagonia and you're feeling disgruntled about it.

Every great outdoor journey begins with a single step. And sometimes that step is toward your closet, where your barely-used R2 TechFace jacket hangs, and you think: "You know what? Someone out there could use this more than me."

That someone is me. I am ready to carry the burden of your discarded outdoor fashion. For justice. For the trails. For free gear. Mostly for free gear.

⛰️ The Trailhead Awaits. My Doorstep Awaits More. ⛰️